Confused About My Marriage?

I am a mother of 2 loving children and have been married to my husband for just a little over 8 year.. Our marriage started off on the wrong foot, and the drama started 7 hours after we got married.. I found out on that day that the girl he called his best friend was also a girl he often slept with right up until we met.. She called my personal phone (unsure how she got the number) and told me that she could still get whatever she wanted from him.. That she would always be number one and that I should get use to that cause she was going no where.. Being it was my wedding day and with the fact , that after being confronted my new husband told the truth and informed her he no longer wanted to deal with her . I forgave him and choose to move on. Things went well and we got along great other then the few normal arguments , up until I found out I was pregnant with my first child. While pregnant I started to have a few epileptic episodes and was put on best rest.. Unable to help pay bills , The fighting got worse and towards the end or my pregnancy , my husband got a little abusive.. At first it was simple things like just pushing then one day he slapped me.. He told me it was from all the stress of bills and all and after a long talk we decided it would be best for us to move back down south to be closer to my family so we would have support.. After the move things started going great again.. My son was born and we both enjoyed being parents.. When my son was 6 months we decided to move as his job had relocated him .. We moved to New Orleans, and I started going back to work. That is when he lost his job.. Now in a new area , no support , new baby and yet losing his job , he started getting depressed and again the abuse started again.. It started with pushing , and shoving and that is when I choose to separate for a little while.. I got my own place and moved with my son and after some therapy we choose to get back together.. 3 weeks after he moved in Katrina hit.. We lost everything and had no choice but to move back up north where he was offered a new job.. 1 month later I found out that my birth control pills had not worked and that I was again pregnant. We were fighting more from all the stress and I ended up in the hospital , after he punched me in the head causing me to have a seizure that also caused me to give birth to my daughter at 6 months.. My husband was arrested after that and went to jail.. I got a order of protection and custody of my 2 children. Trying to save up money to move back to my moms , I found myself in need of his families support .. After talking to his mother, I decided to give him another chance.. It was at this time my life turned to hell .. My father found out he had bone marrow cancer and died a few months later along with his mother and father .. My mother ended up disowning me for going back to my husband and 4 months later my brother tried to kill himself by jumping from a 3rd story window .. During all this my husband was traveling for work.. I was stuck at home with no family , no support 1 new born , 1 toddler , a husband who I could not seem to talk to and being extremely depressed.. I started to eat more and do less around the home.. I also started to meet more people via social networking sites. This led to some online flirting that later after returning home , my husband found out about.. It only caused more arguments , and more drama in our relationship.. He started to say he had more work or would have to stay late.. I later found out he had reconnected with the original girl who I had found out about on our wedding day. In the end I ended up finding the 2 together in bed.. I left for a year and filed for separation.. He ended up going to therapy and getting on medicine as well as going to classes to help with the domestic violence.. 2 days before our divorce was final , we decided to give it another go.. Things have gone great for over 2 years now and besides the basic normal arguments, things have been better then ever , or so I thought.. A week ago he called me from work and out of no where he asked for a divorce.. He has not come home and will only answer his phone when it is the kids bed time .. He says good night to them and then hangs up the phone.. I tried at first to ask questions , like , why , where are you , what's going on , will you be back and so on.. This has only made him shut down more. To be honest , I just want closer if it is over .. He has not filed yet and refuses to do anything to help until as he says "the divorce is final".I have gotten a lawyer but have informed him that a divorce is not what I want.. In the end , and I know it sounds crazy I just want the marriage we have recently had , that has gone good , and the one that I have fought so hard to keep.. I will be honest in saying that I also feel almost stupid for dealing with all the before drama and not getting a divorce sooner like was planned..